Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the substance of things hoped for, and it is the evidence of things not seen. Even though we can’t physically touch faith, it is still so incredibly powerful that we can’t and don’t see movement in our lives without it. Faith is what allows the single woman to wake up every day with the hope that even though her status is “single”, it is only temporary because of what she believes God will do in her life.
It is so important to keep our faith anchored in God because being single can sometimes bring disappointment. We might think things will work out with the person currently in our lives, and sometimes that’s just not the case. God wants us to remain dedicated to trusting His goodness even when we experience setbacks.
“You and I are about to be engaged, why are you still allowing your guy friends to call you?” I heard these words from someone that I had been in a relationship with for almost a year. We had begun to talk about getting engaged, but his statement threw me for a loop. I was under no illusions here. I knew that many men have an expectation that the significant woman in their lives will no longer be involved with their male friends, but I thought we knew one another better than that. His insistence about this made me pause. I wondered if it could be a sign that he had insecurities and control issues.
I thought, “If I give in now, what next?” Something didn’t feel right to me, and I couldn’t get comfortable with it. The word “engagement” is one many of us have been waiting to hear, and initially, I did think he was the one for me. Thank God I soon realized that just because the man chooses you, it doesn’t mean that he’s the right man for you.
This happened to me several years ago, but I’m very aware that there are still many questions and some confusion about knowing when and if you’ve found the right man. And by the‘right man’, I’m referring to the man that God has ordained to walk with you through life.
God said in Isaiah 55:9(NLT), “For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” This verse serves to ground us in the knowledge of God’s sovereignty, brilliance, intelligence, and perfection. The distance between the moon, stars, sun, and earth is so far away that most of us can’t fathom it. Galaxies exists light-years away, and their distances cannot be calculated. This gives us some indication of how far superior God’s intelligence is to ours. He knows and sees all, and there isn’t any detail or aspect of our lives that He hasn’t accounted for in His plan. He knows everything we are going to do before we do it. And because we are His children, He left nothing to chance.
This is the knowledge that grounds us, that He causes all things to work together for our good, and that our good is continually on His mind and heart. So, we can have no doubt in our minds that when it comes to the significant person in our lives, God knows how to bless us and who to bless us with. The problems we often encounter are about recognizing, positioning, and preparing. It’s easy to see that mastering any of these will require spiritual discernment and maturity.
The benchmark of spiritual maturity is demonstrating our understanding that nothing can come before our relationship with God. It’s not about saying we love Him, it’s about the spiritual disciplines that are exercised in our lives. These reveal our love for Him. To say that we must be sold out for Jesus is an understatement, and to think that God can or will accept less is a mistake.
Psalm 37:4(NKJV) tells us, “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” This verse tells us to delight in the Lord—to be ecstatic and enthusiastic about our communion and fellowship with Him. Delighting in God through the Lord Jesus Christ is the greatest thing any of us could ever hope to do, but sometimes we don’t have this attitude. Many of us allow the disappointment in our quest for marriage to get us down and hinder our faith in Heavenly Father. We become doubtful and impatient, and these are areas of our spiritual life that must be strengthened.
Dating in today’s arena is ‘a trip’, and the expectations we place on one another are often not achievable. Because of this, there are lots of hurt feelings and disappointments. The crazy thing is that through our ups and downs, a lot of us are not becoming wiser about what God desires us to learn. We’re getting right back out there without changing anything in our mindsets and approaches. We’re not becoming more deeply motivated by the example of Christ, but we’re doing the same things and expecting different results each time.
When becoming more like Christ in a certain area of our lives is not on our radars, we are not allowed to move forward. To understand this more clearly, take for instance, you go out and buy a new car. You drive it here, there, and everywhere, but even though you drive it every day, you never do the necessary maintenance to keep the car functioning properly. One day, the car will cease to function as it should. No matter what you do, it will not perform well, and its momentum will begin to slow down. The car has a potential to go far, but because of the negligence to keep it maintained, it can’t go the distance. This is where many of us are with our relationship with God. We’ve neglected it, and because we have, our faith has lost tremendous momentum. We haven’t followed the blueprint Jesus Christ left for us, and we will not regain velocity and momentum until we are sufficiently fueled with the Word of God.
Not only is daily spiritual maintenance required in our relationship with God, it is required for any Godly relationship we seek to establish. It stands to reason that if we are not carving out quality time with Heavenly Father, all our other relationships will reflect this. Everything we do or don’t do is tied to the effort, honor, and diligence we have demonstrated in the things of God. So, make no mistake, dating and marriage, or the lack thereof, is a faith issue, but it is not a difficult one to resolve. We need to show God our faith in Him by doing and trusting what He says. Then our commitment to Heavenly Father will give our faith momentum so it produces results that are pleasing to God and to us as well. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Evidence of Things Not Seen”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!
