After recently having her first baby, Melinda was struggling to lose the weight she had gained. She had been a size 12 during college but had been putting on weight in the last few years. Admittedly, she used her pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever she wanted and had enjoyed every minute of it, but after having the baby, she didn’t recognize herself anymore. She was tired all the time, hated exercising, and was angry with herself for gaining the weight. Melinda is very thankful to have a group of friends who love and have encouraged her through this challenging time. Kesha, her cousin, is a part of this inner circle, but encouragement really isn’t Kesha’s strong suit. She’s one of those people that rarely thinks before she speaks. She says exactly what’s on her mind, and has no filter, but sometimes her zingers bring an honesty and clarity that can be very helpful. Other times, she says things that make you wonder if she is really your friend or your worst enemy.
“Girl, I remember when you used to look that good!” Kesha blurted out when she saw a picture of Melinda from her college days. As her other girlfriends sat there with their mouths agape, Melinda just shook her head and chuckled a bit. It hurt, but she didn’t let on. She quickly put everyone at ease, and they continued to reminisce down memory lane. It didn’t dawn on Kesha to ask if she had hurt her cousin’s feelings or to apologize, and Melinda didn’t bother mentioning it later.
The psalmist, David, prayed in Psalm 119:88(KJV), “Quicken me after thy lovingkindness; so shall I keep the testimony of thy mouth.” We can learn so much from this simple, sweet prayer. To be quickened is to come alive and only the Father can give life. David prayed for God’s divine grace to help him, to make him alive so that he could proceed in a good way and have the strength to do those things that please the Father. David showed tremendous humility because he recognized that some areas of his existence were not alive. There were things operating in his life that were pulling him down instead of lifting him up. Not only did he understand this, he also understood that God is the only One who can elevate us to greater levels of life, awareness, and abundance.
Proverbs 18:21 tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. This means that we need to be incredibly careful about what we allow out of our mouths. And if we don’t know how to season our words with the love of Christ, we can do as David did, and ask the Father to quicken us, to do a work internally through His Spirit so that we have a greater consciousness about how we can harm or help people through our words.
Sometimes we hurt people unintentionally, like Kesha did. Many of us speak without thinking, and we’re prideful in our ways. We have not taken it upon ourselves to be tenderhearted towards others as God commands in Ephesians 4:32. We don’t think we need to change and haven’t renewed our minds to be loving and kind the way the Father wants us to. Not only are we hurting others along the way, but we are hurting ourselves by taking this attitude. Our Father extends us tremendous grace, especially when we are unaware of any injury our words or deeds may have caused, but He expects us to grow up in Christ, and to put on more of his compassion and understanding.
2Peter 3:18(NLT) instructs, “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” We can’t remain at an elementary level of faith and spiritual maturity. God has given us a charge to keep. We have a race to run, and He is the One who set it before us. We must keep aiming for the standard of Christ, always growing and abounding in God’s Word. There will come a point in our walk when we have to graduate to greater believing and spiritual maturity. This means that we become more observant of how others perceive us. 2Corinthians 5:20 tells us that we are ambassadors for Christ. We show others his great love, and we must be mindful of this continually.
God’s desire is that we’re overwhelmed with grace as we grow to know more about Jesus Christ. He wants us to be fully acquainted with His Son’s nature so that we realize from the depths of our beings that Christ is who we are supposed to be.
In Revelations 2, our Lord speaks to the church specifically about tolerating idolatry and fornication. They began to incorporate false doctrines and introduced rituals that were a departure from the truth of God’s Word. Jesus Christ said in Revelations 2:21(KJV), “And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not.” The grace of God is to give us space to realize our errors so that we can repent of them and change our ways. But many of us have taken His space and grace for granted and used it to continue our own course.
The psalmist, David, said to God in Psalm 17:3(NLT), “You have tested my thoughts and examined my heart in the night. You have scrutinized me and found nothing wrong. I am determined not to sin in what I say.” We should all strive for this, and we should be praying that if we have hurt someone unintentionally, that the Lord will reveal it to us by His Spirit so we can repent and seek His forgiveness. We must be willing to right our wrongs, and so that we can be good friends and co-laborers in the Lord, we also must be determined not to sin in what we say. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Recognizing When You’ve Been Hurtful” written by Reverend Fran Mack, edited by Kim Times, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!
