Psalm 16:2,5, 7-8 (NLT)
“2 I said to the LORD, “You are my Master! Every good thing I have comes from you.” 5 LORD, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine. 7 I will bless the LORD who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. 8 I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.”
Just like that, the relationship was over, and seemingly before it really got started. I thought it was going to be the relationship I had been waiting on for such a long time. It had been six weeks, and everything seemed to fit. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what turned him sour. Maybe it was my overthinking everything. I tend to do that sometimes. I can be obsessive about whether the man I like thinks I’m fun, outgoing, smart, and attractive. I’ve learned that just because we think of ourselves that way, it doesn’t mean he will. This guy checked off all the boxes. I thought he was wonderful, and at the end of our dates, I’d comb through every detail to make sure I wasn’t over the top about my interest in him. After he ghosted me and I came to my senses, I thought, “Ugh! Why in the world did I try to convince this man that I’m enough?”
I’ve spoken to many women that have asked that question themselves. For some of them, the relationships lasted a lot longer than six weeks. They were together long enough to see a few things they didn’t like so much about Mr. Maybe, but the good things far exceeded the not-so-good. The future looked bright and they were sure marriage was imminent. For whatever reason, the one they loved stopped loving them and that’s heartbreaking.
ISSUE #1
The reality is that we can be educated, attractive, savvy, and successful in our own right, and although these are great qualities, they will not guarantee a fulfilled life. One of the most common issues in the lives of those seeking a partner is that they have placed their confidence in the wrong things. Our confidence must be in God, not in attributes that are only relevant to the world. Marriage is God’s institution and it is a spiritual one. Two people come together before Him and ask for His blessing to become one. That’s a spiritual union, yet, we attempt to leave God out of it. That’s asking for failure.
We should never make the decision to marry someone and then try to bring God in at the tail end, when we’re standing before the pastor on wedding day. That’s not a workable strategy. As women of faith, we should begin a relationship with a heavenly hello from God, so that everything in that relationship, from the dating to marriage phase is appointed and anointed by Him. It doesn’t matter how great you may be or how great the man you want to marry may be, only God can put a union together and bless it. When we get ahead of this, we’re asking for trouble.
Proverbs 3:5-6(NLT) tells us, “5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” You can’t place your confidence in attributes that have nothing to do with Godliness. Those things do not matter in the heavenly realm. What matters is that you value God and His Word, so that when He looks at your heart, that is what He sees. You must trust God with all your heart, and you must humble yourself under Him as He shows you what path to take and what man to marry.
ISSUE #2
Many of us are still learning about the kind of relationship that God desires with us. Issue number two is that we simply haven’t learned enough about God’s requirement to successfully navigate a significant relationship with someone else. James 4:8(ESV) tells us, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” We’ve got snuggling up to boo on our brains when we should be focused on snuggling up to God. He wraps us in His warm embrace, and He wants to show us the many treasures of His rich, fulfilling love, but many of us don’t give Him that chance.
ISSUE #3
Issue number three is that we haven’t learned to recognize God’s voice. This is precisely because we have more work to do in developing intimacy in our relationship with Him. Many of us have dated a man that just simply isn’t all that interested in building something real. We’re talking and he seems only mildly interested in having a conversation with us. It doesn’t take long to understand that no matter how much we try to pull something meaningful from the relationship, he’s just not going to give us anything. This can be a frustrating experience, because the person isn’t responding to you the way you deserve. Sadly, this is the way many of us treat our Heavenly Father.
God has done everything for us. He is in truth our everything, but many of us are more motivated to have a relationship with a man than we are to strengthen our relationship with God. Through His Word and His Holy Spirit that lives inside us, God talks to us 24/7. He never stops talking, but we are not listening as attentively as we should. We don’t read and study His Word with enthusiasm and zeal, and we’re not allowing the Holy Spirit to lead and guide our lives. Instead, we’re calling all the shots, and that’s the way a partnership with God works. Intimacy flows out of communication, and we need to pray and study more so that we can receive the revelation from God we so desperately need.
Heavenly hellos are sweet kisses from God that show up in our circumstances and give us a nod that we’re pleasing Him with the choices we’re making. You don’t want to get married without this. There’s no work, task, or anything that you and I can do to earn God’s blessings. He gives them freely, but He requires us to demonstrate our spiritual maturity to handle or steward the blessing, and we must show our appreciation for the gift we’ve prayed to receive. You don’t have to jump through hoops for anyone. You only need to be prepared for the blessing by doing everything you possibly can to strengthen your relationship with God and grow in Christ.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Heavenly Hellos from God”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack and K. Stephens for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!
