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This website is for single women who desire prayer for their efforts to marry a good man who is loving, compassionate, generous, kind, attractive, and above all, Godly.  This man will have the capacity to be committed to you, and is compatible to the needs of your soul. We are committed to continually lifting your efforts to partner before the Father in the name of His powerful and precious son, Jesus Christ.  It is our privilege to pray for you!

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05/15/2012

Five Ways to Avoid Losing Your Cool

Christians are suppose to be some of the most loving, patient, and compassionate people on the earth. We should be resilient and transcendent. As the old adage goes, when faced with adversity we should never let'em see us sweat. This is not to say that we paint a disingenuous picture of a calm exterior while we're exploding on the inside. Neither should we present to people that we're all happy and joyous during the day, when in fact we're going home and crying ourselves to sleep each night; that's not God's Will for us. He wants us to be confident and faith-filled, and it ought come from a rock solid place in our inner being. In other words our faith should have the upper hand, not our emotions. For many of us this is a tough one. As we get older some of us develop a habit pattern of living by our emotions; therefore when situations and circumstances become out of control, we follow suit. We can avoid losing our cool this way, and we should. Here are five ways that will help.


Know Your Tendencies
 One of my favorite Shakespearean quotes is "To thine onself be true." As a fully grown adult, you've had enough life experience to know the kind of people and situations that cause your blood to boil. You have a pretty good idea of the petty stuff that really gets your goat. As a Christian, God requires you to maintain your cool when you are faced with situations and folks who are notoriously a thorn in your flesh. Identifying potential pitfalls is half the battle. Make a mental or literal note of the triggers—the things that really bother you and tend to push you pass your emotional threshold. Then, be aware that through Christ you are strong enough to mentally and emotionally take control and reroute yourself accordingly. It's not your strength, but God's, and you can lean on Him to help you through any discomfort by remaining poised and calm.


Don't trip!
Sometimes we'll say things like, "Let me not be around her because I know she and I are going to get into it if we come within ten feet of each other." I don't need to tell you that this is unacceptable for the Woman of God. All of us are amazed at the lengths the enemy will go to in order to disturb our peace. The devil uses people. Working through them is his specialty. It's a trick; a ploy to steer our minds and hearts away from standing firm in the faith. RECOGNIZE! Don't trip when a person behaves poorly towards you. Even our own children will act a fool sometimes, but we can't be rocked by that. Ephesians 6:12 (NIV) lets us know concretely that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood." So we always, always have to be aware that the enemy is working behind the scenes to throw us off our game.


If you have developed a habit of OVER reacting, be honest with yourself about it
Many emotional responses are learned behaviors. They become programmed in our subconscious over a period of time. We see others overreacting to the troubling circumstances of life, and from that we convince ourselves that overreacting is an acceptable response to negativity. Not so. Our responses to people and situations in a crisis must convey that our faith is firmly anchored in God. If not, we run the risk of sending the wrong message or indulging behavior that could be injurious to our spiritual well-being in the long run.

Take a honest look at how you respond to adversity. Do you often allow your frustration level to promote outbursts of disapproval and angst? Have you developed a reputation for being unstable when the chips are down. If your answer is "yes" to these questions, and others find it difficult to count on you to be objective, cool, and rational when things are not optimal, then now is a good time to adopt a new strategy for handling pressure. It's a good time for you to get brutally honest with yourself and examine the areas where you are not relying upon the strength and power of God.


Break the habit
Quite frankly, uncontrollable emotionalism or overreacting is a habit that we need to break. Desire is the starting point of ALL achievements. You must recognize and confront the behavior you want to change and envision the behavior you will ultimately manifest. If your life is not being threatened in any way, then there is no need for you to lose your cool. You have a responsibility to God, your faith, and to yourself to remain calm and in control whenever you are confronted with obstacles or challenges.

 

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) says "6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Walking in the truth of Philippians 4:6-7 will transform your mind and heart; it will help you break the habit of overreacting. You cannot be thankful for something you don't believe in, but if you'll dial into God with complete faith and trust—you can't help but to appreciate His delivering power. God won't forsake you. He won't leave you hanging, but you have a responsibility to arm yourself with His Word. If you keep the Father's Word in your heart, no one will be able to steal what He's given you. When you are confident in that one thing, you'll practice true thankfulness and break the habit of overreacting to adversity.

 

Recognize the Signs

1Corinthians 16:13 (NKJV) tells us to "Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong." This verse is key to helping you brilliantly respond to life's hiccups. Any time you see the word "watch" in the bible, the hairs on the back of your neck should stand at attention. God is telling you to come alive, be attentive, and watch out. He is admonishing us in this way because a potential danger exists. There's a chance that we might allow a breach in our protective hedge if we're not careful. 1Corinthians 16:13 tells us to watch out first, and then, after we've put on our protective goggles, we're to stand fast! Stand fast where, when, and how? We're to stand fast in the faith!

 

1 Corinthians 16:14 (NKJV) then tells us "Let all that you do be done with love." The Father would not have told us to watch if there was nothing to watch out for. Sometimes, we become so absorbed with our everyday lives that we forget the love. God is telling us to be careful that we don't neglect to do that. We forget Colossians 3:23 (NIV) which tells us "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,". You see, when we forget that love is the glue that binds our lives to God, we cease to grow in the spirit. When this happens the signs of trouble appear.


These signs are written all over the wall, but we don't notice them. First we receive a gentle knock, then an annoying thump, and if we don't address what's going on internally, all of a sudden a boulder will land on our heads. Then we overreact. We get all out of sorts when we could have repositioned and rerouted ourselves if we had paid attention.

 

Understand that the Father directs the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit within you based on your prayer life. If you are not nurturing that open line of communication with God by talking with Him often; if you are not praying in accordance with His Will and Word, then you are robbing yourself. You are blocking yourself from hearing, seeing, and perceiving the signs that will help you avoid situations that ultimately cause you to lose it.

 

In closing, remember that God admonishes us in 1Corinthians 16:13 (NKJV) to "...be brave, be strong." This is a direct command. He didn't say feel brave, feel strong. He said BE BRAVE, BE STRONG! This means that we are to put all of our angst and nerves aside and get the job done. God depends upon the Christian to move His agenda forward in the earth. He has no hands but your hands, no feet but your feet. He is counting on you to walk in faith, to be circumspect, and to keep your cool.●

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2010 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

" Five Ways to Avoid Losing Your Cool"  written by Reverend Fran Times-Mack and Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

A Battle of Wills

by Rev. Fran Mack 

If you're wondering what God is doing right now in your life, I can tell you exactly what He is doing. He is positioning you for the next level of blessings and spiritual growth; He's positioning you for increase. Now you might look at your condition and say "it sure doesn't look that way...", but your condition is not your conclusion. Your condition is the conduit that will carry you through. Your condition is what everyone around you is looking at right now. It's where you've focused your attention and in all likelihood, it's where you've concentrated a good deal of your prayer life. But here's the all encompassing, hugely important truth that you must bear in mind at all times, whatever your condition, whatever your situation or desire is, your will must rise above it in order to see the next-level blessing unfold.

You may not realize it, but your will is the thing that you are struggling with today. Your will is your governor. It's the administrator, the chief that orchestrates your life from deep within. It is the agency that God will not overthrow or overstep, because of the laws that He, Himself, has set up. Your choices and decisions all stem from your will. From where you're standing this very second, you do not know all there is to know about what lies at the core of your own being. You do not always know what you'll do from one minute to the next. You do not know what choices you will make, but God knows. He knows what is at the core of your being. He knows the will and intent of your heart.  

If deep within—your will is not in alignment with God's Will, then He will continue to help you until an internal, spiritual shift occurs and your will changes to line up with what the Father knows is best for your life. Your conscious mind is not always aware of this battle of wills. A lot of it plays out behind the scenes. You can often sense the spirit is working something out within your soul, but you can't quite grasp exactly what it is.

Jesus Christ must be Lord in every aspect of our lives—in every part of our being. When we become born again that doesn't happen in one fell swoop. His love shines a light on our inner being. Slowly we begin to recognize and confront those areas where we are still operating out of fear and doubt. If we're brave and patient enough, we'll allow God to help us surrender and release those things that are contrary to His Will. He doesn't engage this process without our permission. We have to pray and ask Him to intervene. When we do, the process of preparation begins. God then helps us move toward a place of surrendering our will for His. It can be an agonizing process sometimes, painful and uncomfortable, and you have to truly love the Lord to endure it. Jesus Christ shows us this in Luke 22.

He was entering into the beginning of his suffering. He said in verse 33, "Now that which is written must be fulfilled in me." Just before he was betrayed, Christ isolated himself and prayed fervently to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane, at the foot of the Mount of Olives. In verse 42 (NIV) he prayed "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Oh, I tell you my sisters and brothers, you and I could not have faced what he knew to be his destiny. He was a man. He didn't like pain any more than you and I, yet he was willing to endure excruciating pain. He was willing to suffer, and did suffer. He suffered pain beyond an unimaginable threshold and then ultimately died, all for the sake of us—that we might be free from the consequences of sin.

Jesus Christ said, "not my will, but yours..." None of us can imagine the complexity of this moment. When he spoke those words he literally and figuratively yielded his will for what God knew would be best. In other words, he had the mindset of "I'm gonna go through what I need to go through because no matter what it looks like, I know that I'm in the Father's hands." If Jesus Christ had not lived this reality and if we did not have a written record of it, then we would not know that it was possible to do such a thing. We would not know that we could face what seems to be insurmountable conditions, and have faith that we will conquer them and come out on top. If he had not done it, then we would not be convinced that it could be done.

Jesus Christ never sinned, but you and I are born into sin. This is our condition. Some people are so far out there, so far away from God that they will never allow themselves to be reeled in by His love. The Christian, however, has made the decision to walk in love and to take on the nature of Christ. We then have to expect that there are some things that naturally come with this territory of Godliness, and all of them are not pretty.

The servant is not better than the Lord, the child not better than the parent. If our precious Lord endured some heartaches and pain, then we can expect to endure some as well. Before his suffering Jesus Christ gave the disciples notice that there would be a change in their circumstances. He warned them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." He is letting them know that with the new changes upon them, there would also be a contest of will; an inner struggle—a temptation that would either land them on the side of darkness or light.

Simon Peter was often designated as the mouthpiece of the other disciples in speaking to Jesus. In verse 31(NIV) he was the ears, listening intently to the warning laid out by our blessed Savior. Jesus said to him “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Look at the love of our beloved Lord and Master, how he interceded on Peter's behalf.

We can so clearly see his compassion here, but there is something else we must see as well. It is incredibly important that you pay attention to the words of Christ in these verses, because they reveal some astounding truth. Here we see a glimpse of the court proceedings in the spiritual realm. These are the legalities that involve each and every saint who is living for the Lord.

The enemy asked God for permission to tempt Peter and the other disciples. He had tempted Peter before, and he made plans to do it again. What does this tell us? It tells us that the enemy and his evil spirits were watching the disciple's every move. They were looking for an opening—looking to see if the disciples were really for Jesus, or if they had demonstrated self-serving tendencies. They were looking to see if the disciples were just hanging out with him for selfish personal gain. If they had been, then the devil's cronies would have pounced on them. You see, because our Father is a legalistic God, the devil had to have legal ground in order to attack the disciples. God is a faithful Judge, and He never, ever breaks His laws. He is 100% faithful to His Word.

The devil knew that he couldn't touch the disciples legally without sufficient evidence to tempt them. The system worked that way back then and it works the same way today, for God changes not.

Jesus said, "but I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith will not fail." Here we see our wonderful counselor! Oh, he's a lawyer in the courtroom, isn't he. We ought to burst with thanksgiving for our blessed Lord. He told Peter, "The devil is gunning for you. He wants to rip your life apart and sift you and the others like wheat, but I'm in your corner. I've gone before the throne of Heavenly Father and prayed that you will stand strong amidst the enemy's temptations; that you will remember what I've taught you, and that you will not falter in your conviction to stand faithfully on God's Word. And when you go back, I want you to pass along these words to the others so they too will stand bold."  

Ultimately, it would be Peter's decision. It would be his choice whether or not he stood strong in the midst of that temptation. He had the final word on what he was going to do, just as you and I have the final word on what we will do. God will not make us give Him the glory. He will not make us honor Him through our choices; He leaves that totally up to us, but we need to know that Jesus Christ is rooting for us to triumph, just as he did for Peter and the disciples.  

It would be foolish for us to think that our actions are not being observed by not only demonic spirits, but by the people they use to come against us. 1Peter 5:8 warns, "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." We don't have to endure what Christ did, because we could not have endured it, but we DO have to be vigilant. We must be ever mindful that not only is there a spiritual war going on in our external environment, but there's one going on inside us as well.

God is working inside us to will and do of His good pleasure. He is working with us to transport us to the next level of spiritual growth and blessings. He's not inside the inner sanctum of our being shoving stuff around. He's guiding, prodding, and revealing at a pace that doesn't overload our senses. He's making sure that you and I can see His love for us and then make our choices accordingly. God isn't doing just enough to get us by. He's doing the 'exceeding abundantly above anything that we can ask or think'(Ephesians 3:20), and there is a mountain of factors that are involved in order to first position and then elevate us. Be patient and prayerful about what He is doing. Understand the spiritual battles being waged and be incredibly thankful that with God through Christ, you are always on the winning side.●

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2010 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

"A Battle of Wills"  written by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, edited by Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2012. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

 

08/29/2011

Single Ladies, Ask Yourself a Question...
 Why Isn't God Enough?

When we get that hankering for wedded bliss, the first thing many single women do is sit down and comprise a list of qualities they want in a man. For the Christian sister, "Godliness" is at the top of the list. We want a man who honors God, because we figure if he honors God, then he'll know how to honor a wife. So we'll narrow down our hefty lists to ten or so must have qualities, tuck them in our bibles for safe keeping, and then wait on God to do the work of bringing this fine specimen of masculinity across our paths. Well after a year or three goes by and you've kissed your fair share of toads, without a prince materializing you've got to wonder, "what's the holdup?"

One of the things I learned a long time ago is that the holdup is never God, because He never, ever withholds our blessings. He doesn't withhold the sunshine because we've failed to deserve its light. He doesn't withhold the air because we failed to deserve its oxygen, and He doesn't withhold water because we fail to deserve its nourishment. Withholding blessings on the basis of our deservedness is not a part of God's MO (mode of operation), because truthfully, as mortal beings we could never be worthy of earning anything from God; that's why His grace is so extraordinarily wonderful.

Human beings don't have the capacity to earn blessings. Our responsibility as men and women of God is to believe through faith to receive them. And as we believe and trust God to bring to pass what we desire, we are to get busy doing those things that bring glory and honor to His Kingdom. So if it's not God withholding the blessing of a husband from you, then it must be something else. As a woman-of-God seeking a husband-of-God, at some point you have to begin to question what that something else is. You have to commit to being honest about what stands between you and your blessing.

Could it be you? Are YOU keeping your blessing at bay? This is definitely the most humbling and honest way to begin a truthful dialogue with the Father about this issue. To blame God or to say that He is not ready to bless you with a husband is erroneous. It places you further away from what you desire instead of closer to it, because a mentality that surmises that God withholds blessings from those that diligently seek Him is a thought process that wreaks of spiritual and emotional immaturity.

In order for any blessing to come to pass, some internal things within your inner being must be aligned. Your thoughts, intents, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors must all convey a message of truth. We cannot get to this place on our own, this is one of the reasons why the Father has given us the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit—to help us get aligned—to help us get to a place of truth and faith.

The spirit works within us as we allow God's love to enter into those internal places within where darkness and doubt still abide. From the moment you wrote your list and tucked it in your bible, God has been leading and guiding you closer to your desires. Yes, it's a process, and often it takes time, but the span of time is dependent upon your desire to put God in His rightful place as the head of your life, and let the spirit be at work within you.

As we let the spirit be at work within, there are a few things we undoubtedly must confront. For one, as women we need to be real about the notions that we've conjured up regarding what a husband can or cannot do for our lives. A spouse cannot fill your cup, and you need to understand this on a profound level. Perhaps you are at a point in your life where you sense internal emptiness, gaps, or places within your soul that need attention. This may be causing you to perceive that these gaps, wounds, or emptiness within your soul can or should be filled by the love of a husband, but another human being doesn't have the ability or capacity to fill you up; you were created in such a way that only God can do this.

You might say, "I know that already!", but if you're praying for a husband and still haven't met him, then you don't know it as well as you think. If you know that only God can fill your cup, as a single woman, you have to ask yourself why isn't that enough for you. God wants everyone who desires to be married to have a spouse, this is always true. He wove this desire within our makeup, but many a single sister has made the desire for a husband their god.    

Romans 8:28 (KJV) tells us that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." We live in an age where we expect things to happen like 1-2-3. We want that blessing on the double, and if we don't get it on the double, we want to at least be able to visually see evidence that things are coming together to produce the outcome we seek.

The reason why we don't see things coming together in a meaningful way is because sometimes we forget the "his purpose" part of Romans 8:28. When it comes to marriage we think it's our purpose, but it's God's purpose all the way. And at the very epicenter of God's purpose for your life is the achievement of oneness with Him. The only way that you will witness the evidence of things working and coming together to produce the results you're seeking- is if you are consciously—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—aware that you are one with God through Christ, and that everything else in your life is secondary to this one central reality.

Walking in purpose cannot be achieved without reprioritization. Your internal deck must be re-shuffled and you have to put first things first. Your journey to becoming someone's spouse must be an extension of your journey to become more of your highest spiritual self in Christ, not the other way around. You can't tell the Father "God if you just give me a husband I'll be more of who you want me to be." That doesn't wash. Colossians 2:10 says that we are already complete in Christ. The Word dictates that you don't wait for a person to make you what God has already made you. You are complete in Christ! This is your spiritual reality, and God is waiting on you to bring your mind and heart in alignment with what He has already birthed in your inner being.

You see once you receive the indwelling Holy Spirit, there is nothing more to be done to make you more of a spiritual being than you have been made through Christ. It's a done deal. God has fulfilled His promise and placed within you the fullness of the spirit of Christ. The rest of the work lies within your own willingness to measure up mentally, emotionally, and physically.

The spirit doesn't control the mind. God will never overstep your free-will agency. He will never come into your being and start refocusing and changing your thoughts. If God rearranged everyone's thoughts to think what He wants them to, why on earth would salvation be necessary? He simply could have created us to think, walk, talk and behave the way He desires. But He didn't do that. He gave us the choice to think, feel, speak, and behave as we want, and He will not interfere with those choices. So our spiritual reality is one of being complete in Christ Jesus, but our mental and emotional reality is not impacted unless we consciously and actively change the way we think and feel.

If you are feeling lonely, sad, and depressed because you think that God will not bless you with a spouse, trust me, you feel this way because you haven't reprioritized your relationship with Him as #1. You are too enamored with ooey gooey feelings of romance. These feelings have their place, but they are nothing compared to the pinnacle of joy that is experienced when you truly come to an understanding of the Father's love. You may not be there yet, but you ought to be actively pursuing this place in your relationship with Him.

Heavenly Father doesn't want you to be without companionship. As we say so often, God wants to see you married more than you want it for yourself, but there is an order. The principle component of God's order is that you and I are consciously and cognitively aware of who we are, whose we are, and why we are here. If you truly know who you are, whose you are, and why you are here, then you'll walk in purpose. You'll have a joy and peace that passes all understanding. Being single won't bother you one bit, because you'll know beyond a shadow of doubt that God IS enough, and everything else is just icing on the cake.●

"Single Ladies, Ask Yourself a Question..." written by Reverend Fran Times-Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! Sundie Morning Sistas is dedicated to spiritual inspiration and encouragement through the Word of God.
 

 




 

 

 

 

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