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 Introducing Your Kids to the New Man...Do You Know What It
Takes?
The days of settling for less are behind us, and don't think
that you have to settle just because you are a Christian
single parent either. You can have a wonderful marriage,
children, even the house with the white picket fence if
you're so inclined. There's only two requirements: you've
got to know what it takes to have those wonderful things,
and you've also got to know how to maintain them and care
for them in a Godly way.
Like anything else in life, you have to work hard at what
you want because anything worth having hardly ever comes
easy. However, bringing a new man into your life when you
have children is a whole new ball of wax; it can get really
sticky if you don't use the wisdom of God's Word. You can't
wait until a relationship begins to prepare for this
transition. It's much too delicate for that. You have to
begin preparing yourself now, so that you can have solid
footing as you begin to also help prepare your children's
hearts and minds to accept a new person.
You want your children to love the man you choose as much as
you do. This takes lots of prayer and wisdom. Why is this
preparation so important? It's so important because God
honors your children as much as He honors you. He is looking
out for their well being too. Bringing the wrong person
around your kids can sometimes have long lasting, harmful
effects, but there is one thing for certain, as long as we
keep our Heavenly Father at the forefront, nothing will be
impossible.
God has given us freewill. When it comes to marriage, you
have the power to choose your own destiny, which means you
can change your situation whenever you get ready; it’s
completely up to you, but if your aim is to have a
successful union for all involved, you must do things God's
way, because His way is the right way—and it works!
Yes, God has a standard for bringing your new man around
your children and doing things Heavenly Father's way
requires that you keep three important factors in mind:
#1) Have quality, honest conversations about your goals to
partner and expand your family unit.
When the time is right, make the topic a part of your prayer
time together, and also pray together about any fears your
children are having about expanding the family. Spend time
teaching them that God's love is meant to be shared, and
that He would be very pleased if you were all able to share
your love with a new special person.
#2) Remember that you are the parent
and ultimately you have the responsibility to believe in
faith over your children until they can believe for
themselves. They cannot or should not feel as though they
are empowered to make life decisions for your family. They
are ill-equipped to do so. However, God holds you
responsible for ensuring that your children are secure in
your decision making ability.
Ephesians 6:1(NLT) says
"Children, obey your parents
because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing
to do." Be an example for your children, so that they
know how to conduct themselves at all times. It would be
pretty difficult to expect your little ones to respect and
honor what you have to say, if your actions are less than
honorable.
Again, you are the parent. It isn't wise to ask your
children's permission to date. This may breed insecurity in
your parenting. Affirm your commitment to your family unit
by continuing to state your unconditional love for them.
Most importantly, demonstrate that you are patient and that
you trust God's love and care. Teach them by example how to
walk by faith.
#3) Make sure you hear from God before introducing a new man
to your kids.
This is critical because once you introduce children, you
can potentially leave them vulnerable to becoming attached
and expose them to the painful experience of separation.
Out of our eagerness to feel companionship and love,
sometimes our focus becomes a bit distorted and we lose
sight of our priorities. However, we can never forget the
importance of our roles in our children’s lives when
pursuing our own personal needs. Admittedly, we want what we
want when we want it, but remember that there's a delicate
balance between your personal needs and the welfare of your
children.
As a mother, most of the time your kids want you all to
themselves, but a father’s role is vital and can’t be
overlooked or replaced. Ephesians 6:4 NLT says " And now
a word to you fathers. Don't make your children angry by the
way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the
discipline and instruction approved by the Lord." Your
desire to partner is natural. You should want to partner and
God understands this desire. He knows that having a good
man in the home is instrumental to the family unit, so be
assured that God is looking out for both you and your
children. Heavenly Father will not let you down. Continue to
pray faithfully, and know that the spirit of Christ will
lead, guide, and direct you to the person who is best for
you and your children as well.
"Introducing Your Kids to the New Man...Do You Know What It
Takes?"
written by Kim Times,
edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning
Sistas.Org ©2010. All rights reserved. All done to the
glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!
Sundie Morning Sistas.Org is dedicated to
inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word
of God. |
